if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
