Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize