i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
