You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
