Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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