My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
