me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
