So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize