She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
