you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
