guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
