There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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