was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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