This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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