NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
