I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
