no, he came in my armpit
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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