Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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