Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
