i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
