I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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