Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
