her vagine was all disorganized.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
