she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
