we have officially lost it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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