Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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