Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
