Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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