why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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