we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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