I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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