I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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