He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
