oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
