I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
