I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
