Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
