it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Boobs speak an international language.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
