so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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