So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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