question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
