Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
