Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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