So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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