people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
