not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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