Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize