i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
