I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize