We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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