what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
