i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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