I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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