Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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