All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
