That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
