Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
