just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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