I want to stick my p in your. b.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its not stalking. its research.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
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