i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
