it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
