I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
