Where did you get a picture of my penis
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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