I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
