it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i believe in u and ur pee
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
