I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
