Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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