ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
